Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Hi-yo! It’s More Versatile Than You Think!
I think the term ‘hi-yo’ is grossly underused in the world today. I think most people believe the ‘hi-yo’ should only be used in very distinct and exclusive situations. I think these very same people have emphatically underestimated the diversity of the ‘hi-yo’ in today’s vernacular and I know that given the right motivation, the world will change and ‘hi-yo’ will climb to its rightful place on the slang totem pole.
Here’s a typical situation where usage of the ‘hi-yo’ is expected. Say a girl walks in to a restaurant that you and your buddies frequent on a relatively constant basis. Say the girl in question has an extremely breathtaking heiny and isn’t afraid to show it off judging from the pair of butt-hugger spandex shorts complete with thong underwear she’s wearing to accentuate said heiny. One of your buddies just so happens to make a comment as she walks by that basically describes his desire to butter her biscuits and savor the honeylicious flavor for later. I don’t know, just throwing it out there. I believe an obvious response by anyone in the group would be a loud and resounding, “Hi-yo!” This ‘hi-yo’ is the typical instance where anyone aware of current slang would expect to see the term used. But allow me to present some maybe not-so-obvious situations where the ‘hi-yo’ can be used just as effectively in not-as-obligatory situations…through movie quotes.
The Princess Bride:
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
Dirty Harry:
Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
[other police officers show up and intervene]
Bank Robber: I gots to know.
[Harry demonstrates that there were in fact no more rounds left]
Bank Robber [shaking finger]: Hi-yo!
Rocky:
Mickey: Your nose is broken. 
Braveheart:
Stephen: Stephen is my name. I'm the most wanted man on my island. Except I'm not on my island, of course. More's the pity.
Top Gun (this one deserves two):
Slider: Goose who's butt did you kiss to get in here anyway?
Stinger: Maverick, you just did an incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane! you don't own that plane, the tax payers do! Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter!
The Matrix:
Neo: Yeah. That sounds like a really good deal. But I got a better one. How about... I give you the finger... and you give me my phone call?
¶ 10:39 AM 
I think the term ‘hi-yo’ is grossly underused in the world today. I think most people believe the ‘hi-yo’ should only be used in very distinct and exclusive situations. I think these very same people have emphatically underestimated the diversity of the ‘hi-yo’ in today’s vernacular and I know that given the right motivation, the world will change and ‘hi-yo’ will climb to its rightful place on the slang totem pole.
Here’s a typical situation where usage of the ‘hi-yo’ is expected. Say a girl walks in to a restaurant that you and your buddies frequent on a relatively constant basis. Say the girl in question has an extremely breathtaking heiny and isn’t afraid to show it off judging from the pair of butt-hugger spandex shorts complete with thong underwear she’s wearing to accentuate said heiny. One of your buddies just so happens to make a comment as she walks by that basically describes his desire to butter her biscuits and savor the honeylicious flavor for later. I don’t know, just throwing it out there. I believe an obvious response by anyone in the group would be a loud and resounding, “Hi-yo!” This ‘hi-yo’ is the typical instance where anyone aware of current slang would expect to see the term used. But allow me to present some maybe not-so-obvious situations where the ‘hi-yo’ can be used just as effectively in not-as-obligatory situations…through movie quotes.
The Princess Bride:
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
Buttercup: Hi-yo!
Full Metal Jacket (with a number of other memorably insulting quotes):
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Buttercup: Hi-yo!
Full Metal Jacket (with a number of other memorably insulting quotes):
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private? Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
Private Joker: Hi-yo!
Private Joker: Hi-yo!
The Karate Kid:
[just before Johnny fights Daniel in the tournament]
[just before Johnny fights Daniel in the tournament]
Kreese: Sweep the leg. [Johnny stares at him in shock]
Kreese: Do you have a problem with that?
Johnny: No, Sensei.
Dirty Harry:Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
[other police officers show up and intervene]
Bank Robber: I gots to know.
[Harry demonstrates that there were in fact no more rounds left]
Bank Robber [shaking finger]: Hi-yo!
Rocky:
Mickey: Your nose is broken.
Braveheart:Stephen: Stephen is my name. I'm the most wanted man on my island. Except I'm not on my island, of course. More's the pity.
Hamish: Your island? You mean Ireland.
Stephen: Yeah. It's MINE.
Hamish: You're a madman.
Top Gun (this one deserves two):Slider: Goose who's butt did you kiss to get in here anyway?
Goose: The list is long, but distinguished.
Stinger: Maverick, you just did an incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane! you don't own that plane, the tax payers do! Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter! Goose: Thank you, sir!
Stinger: And let's not bullshit Maverick. Your family name ain't the best in the Navy. You need to be doing it better, and cleaner than the other guy. Now what is it with you?
Maverick: Just want to serve my country, be the best pilot in the Navy, sir.
Stinger: Don't screw around with me Maverick. You're a hell of an instinctive pilot. Maybe too good. I'd like to bust your butt but I can't. I got another problem here. I gotta send somebody from this squadron to Miramar. I gotta do something here, I still can believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I'm gonna send you up against the best. You two characters are going to Top Gun.
Goose & Maverick [in simultaneous fist pump]: Hi-yo!
Goose & Maverick [in simultaneous fist pump]: Hi-yo!
Maximus: Who?
Juba: Your family. In the afterlife.
Maximus: Oh yes.
Juba: What do you say to them?
Maximus: To my son - I tell him I will see him again soon. To keep his heels down while riding his horse. To my wife... that is not your business.
Juba: Hi-yo!
Juba: Hi-yo!
The Matrix:Neo: Yeah. That sounds like a really good deal. But I got a better one. How about... I give you the finger... and you give me my phone call?
Agent Smith: Mr. Anderson... you disappoint me.
Neo: You can't scare me with this Gestapo crap. I know my rights. I want my phone call.
Agent Smith: Tell me, Mr. Anderson... what good is a phone call... if you're unable to speak?
[Neo’s mouth disappears and all that can be heard are strained muffles…]
Agent Smith: Hi-yo!
And from one of my new favorite films of the moment (however not as recognizable)…Thank
You for Smoking:
Brad: Nick, your job and everything aside, I hope you understand that second hand smoke's a real killer.
[Neo’s mouth disappears and all that can be heard are strained muffles…]
Agent Smith: Hi-yo!
And from one of my new favorite films of the moment (however not as recognizable)…Thank
You for Smoking:Brad: Nick, your job and everything aside, I hope you understand that second hand smoke's a real killer.
Nick Naylor: What are you talking about?
Brad: I just hope you're providing a smoke-free environment for Joey is all I'm saying.
Nick Naylor: Brad, I'm his *father*. You're the guy f-ing his mom.
Brad [going up for a high five but no response from Nick]: Hi-yo!
