The Heterosexual Male Dancing Ring

So this weekend my band of merry men and I gaggled our way into the Brighton area to experience the delightful sights and sounds of the posh (well more posh than the ilk of establishment I frequent) but highly accessible Soho nightclub. As always the women were beautiful and generally unimpressed with me, the atmosphere was cheery while remaining sophisticate, and the music selection stayed eclectic yet supremely appropriate. Which brings me to the general purpose of this musing…the social acceptance of the male dancing ring.

Allow me to present the situation that brought this apparently socially sensitive topic to fruition. There I am in the middle of the floor pounding the hardwood with exactly two of my friends, one female and one male. Right in the middle of my best Brandon Flowers impression, I caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex who proceeded to give me the come hither finger curl. Right away I thought, “Not subtle and to the point, I like her already!” All in all, we enjoyed each other’s company by in large in a “I like dancing with you not because I want to sleep with you kind of way but because I’m glad there’s a girl here who actually finds my David Bowie chicken dance remotely entertaining” kind of way. Well apparently her friends didn’t agree with the display of non-affection happening on the floor and they pulled her away. This I didn’t mind because that just meant I could keep perfecting my air guitar fist pump with my non-homosexual male dance partner.

Stay with me because this is where it gets interesting. About a Justin Timbersnake/P. Diddy song tandem later, the girl that I had the little fling with earlier in the evening came back, but this time her female friend had her boyfriend in tow. They may have been arguing about something but before I could return the come hither finger curl I heard a loud and thunderous, “Those guys are so gay…[gasp]!” I looked around for some dudes making out in the corner but none were to be found. I searched high and low for a pair of grinding dudes to no avail. Then I turned to my partner in boogie and he says, “No brah, he’s talking about us.” That chache called my friend and me gay! And I’m not saying gay in a look at those guys going crazy and enjoying themselves so I’m gonna call you gay in a joking sort of way so I can come join the fun, but in stern-faced homophobic I wanna rip you a new one by calling you gay kind of way. So I did what any self-respecting obviously not gay but sympathizer with the plight of the homosexual community would do, I simply turned to my buddy and said in a very audible volume, “Oh my gosh, did you hear that? We’re so gay!” And then stared right at the gay-bashing offender while doing the bouncing boob dance with our perfectly sculpted pectoralis muscles. Apparently it worked because he was no where to be seen for the rest of the night.

Anyway, I’m not writing this just to talk about sequence of events in this weekend’s foray. I want to talk about comment made by the deutsche on the dance floor. Not only was this non-instigated vomit of words an outright insult to the gay community (mainly because the majority of homosexual males are much better dancers than my friend and me), but it was a grossly unimaginative way of expressing disaccord with the behavior of others. Unfortunately we still live in a world where it is unacceptable for heterosexual males to enjoy each other’s company on a dance floor. If you see a group of girls getting in to the groove at the local watering hole you don’t go up to them and call them a bunch of lesbos. You sit back and enjoy the show. I’m not saying if you see a group of guys acting in a similar fashion you do the same, but I am sick and tired of this double standard that society is perpetuating in the young adult community that girls can dance without guys but guys can’t dance without girls. It took me a long to time to develop my current repertoire of sic moves that are at a standard to make me feel comfortable enough to put them on display without a female counterpart. And like women, sometimes I just want to be able to go in to a club or bar and be able to say without hesitation, “F girls tonight, I just want to dance!”