One Day at a Time
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Fall Horoscopes
Hi everyone! The school paper had me write some horoscopes for the fall season, something I've never done before so take a look and let me know if I have a future. There's only four because that's all they had me do...so tough luck if you're missing. Oh, and they're kind of specific to the school, but still enjoyable if you don't go there.
Virgo
The start of the new school year for you is an opportunity to do all of those wonderful little things that the University has to offer. So like a Thoroughbred with its haunches lit on fire you start out the gate at a frenzied pace and join every club, group, and activity you can seem to muster. Impending doom and certain burn-out awaits you in the month of October as you have effectively spread yourself so thin you feel like a brown paper bag trying to fend off a jackhammer. Not to worry though, as All Hallow’s Eve draws near, you rekindle your reverent verve in the form of preparations for a substantial Halloween bash by compiling playlists, carving celebrity faces into pumpkins, and telling all your friends what costumes are in and which ones are most definitely out this Halloween season. After some over-indulgence on butterbeer and Abba-Zabba, November is a time to get reacquainted with those cross-trainers. We don’t want to enter a healthfully detrimental holiday season already looking like Dr. McFlabby now do we?
Libra
New relationships are indubitably in store for you this fall season. With a whole new crop of aspiring physicians being indoctrinated in to the glamorous world of military medicine, there are many new connections to be made. But watch out, with all of these new people come a whole crop of secrets that will make you feel so dirty you’ll want to run to the Hills of Beverly for a discounted full body chemical peel…keep them to yourself! Don’t be too worried about going crazy in the weekends leading up to your birthday, you’ll want to save your energy for a long night keg stands, floor pounding, and some ever presently possible streaking. Come late Oct – early Nov a rumor will start circulating about you that is as extravagantly malevolent as it is counterfactual. Do not be shy about confronting the perpetrators. As Jack Frost makes his entrance take some time to indulge in the occasional outdoor activity with that special someone…but watch the PDA!
Scorpio
Caught up in a Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone-like fairytale, you find yourself hopelessly in love to open the school year. Spending a little extra time primping before that 0730 lecture and your mind wandering off into a land of gumdrop wishes and jellybean dreams is fine, but until all of those little habits that you find cute turn into isms that make your skin crawl, try and remember that you need to pass your classes. This year Halloween has turned in to a major priority with the planning and preparing that begins as early as Oct 1st this year. Don’t get too worked up over it or you won’t have enough energy to enjoy the ice sculpture of Dr. MacDonald in a pirate costume you special-ordered for this year’s gala. Approaching the culmination of an eventful fall equinox, that significant other starts to act so shady that he or she doesn’t seem so significant anymore. This is an especially appropriate occasion to have a lively discourse with the person in question and decide if it might be time to say adieu.
Sagittarius
The foray back to school this fall season is everything but a delightful experience for you this time around. As depression officially sets in, raising the titanic without an air tank might as well be an easier task than sitting down and studying. Surround yourself with your closest friends and family to help you through this troublesome little blip. Spending an inordinate amount of cash on that perfect Halloween leaves you in some fiscal trouble for the month of November. You need cash fast so why not try something new? Perhaps the National Zoo could use a new pooper scooper, and of course sniffing some armpits down at the local odor testing plant never hurt anyone. As the holidays draw near you start having doubts about your love life. These doubts could be any number of things ranging from the level of commitment of your better half to inquests about your own sexuality. Whatever the case may be, take some time for serious reflection over the holiday season. ¶ 6:15 PM 0 comments
Hi everyone! The school paper had me write some horoscopes for the fall season, something I've never done before so take a look and let me know if I have a future. There's only four because that's all they had me do...so tough luck if you're missing. Oh, and they're kind of specific to the school, but still enjoyable if you don't go there.
Virgo
The start of the new school year for you is an opportunity to do all of those wonderful little things that the University has to offer. So like a Thoroughbred with its haunches lit on fire you start out the gate at a frenzied pace and join every club, group, and activity you can seem to muster. Impending doom and certain burn-out awaits you in the month of October as you have effectively spread yourself so thin you feel like a brown paper bag trying to fend off a jackhammer. Not to worry though, as All Hallow’s Eve draws near, you rekindle your reverent verve in the form of preparations for a substantial Halloween bash by compiling playlists, carving celebrity faces into pumpkins, and telling all your friends what costumes are in and which ones are most definitely out this Halloween season. After some over-indulgence on butterbeer and Abba-Zabba, November is a time to get reacquainted with those cross-trainers. We don’t want to enter a healthfully detrimental holiday season already looking like Dr. McFlabby now do we?
Libra
New relationships are indubitably in store for you this fall season. With a whole new crop of aspiring physicians being indoctrinated in to the glamorous world of military medicine, there are many new connections to be made. But watch out, with all of these new people come a whole crop of secrets that will make you feel so dirty you’ll want to run to the Hills of Beverly for a discounted full body chemical peel…keep them to yourself! Don’t be too worried about going crazy in the weekends leading up to your birthday, you’ll want to save your energy for a long night keg stands, floor pounding, and some ever presently possible streaking. Come late Oct – early Nov a rumor will start circulating about you that is as extravagantly malevolent as it is counterfactual. Do not be shy about confronting the perpetrators. As Jack Frost makes his entrance take some time to indulge in the occasional outdoor activity with that special someone…but watch the PDA!
Scorpio
Caught up in a Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone-like fairytale, you find yourself hopelessly in love to open the school year. Spending a little extra time primping before that 0730 lecture and your mind wandering off into a land of gumdrop wishes and jellybean dreams is fine, but until all of those little habits that you find cute turn into isms that make your skin crawl, try and remember that you need to pass your classes. This year Halloween has turned in to a major priority with the planning and preparing that begins as early as Oct 1st this year. Don’t get too worked up over it or you won’t have enough energy to enjoy the ice sculpture of Dr. MacDonald in a pirate costume you special-ordered for this year’s gala. Approaching the culmination of an eventful fall equinox, that significant other starts to act so shady that he or she doesn’t seem so significant anymore. This is an especially appropriate occasion to have a lively discourse with the person in question and decide if it might be time to say adieu.
Sagittarius
The foray back to school this fall season is everything but a delightful experience for you this time around. As depression officially sets in, raising the titanic without an air tank might as well be an easier task than sitting down and studying. Surround yourself with your closest friends and family to help you through this troublesome little blip. Spending an inordinate amount of cash on that perfect Halloween leaves you in some fiscal trouble for the month of November. You need cash fast so why not try something new? Perhaps the National Zoo could use a new pooper scooper, and of course sniffing some armpits down at the local odor testing plant never hurt anyone. As the holidays draw near you start having doubts about your love life. These doubts could be any number of things ranging from the level of commitment of your better half to inquests about your own sexuality. Whatever the case may be, take some time for serious reflection over the holiday season. ¶ 6:15 PM 0 comments
